It took one thunderstorm to remind me of how even simple expectations can ruin a moment. I had taken my dogs to get some exercise and found myself in the middle of a thunderstorm. The turbulent clouds began to hum with a slow, guttural bass rumble; that rumble rolled like a lead ball across the sky, finally crashing brashly with a deafening metallic clamor. The dark churning clouds sparked with electric flashes, jumping from cloud to cloud like children hopping from rock to rock across a creek. The low hanging clouds gave me the illusion that I should duck as they rumbled, churned and flashed above my head. The air was still but I knew I was at the mercy of the storm. I expected rain. To my surprise, the thundering clouds were dropping soft, fluffy, snow. As the snow, drifted down into the pastures around me, I had an eerie feeling. It was not just the low hanging clouds, nor the rumble in the clouds, nor the stillness of the wind…. but the snow….it messed with my mind. Why is it that I continue to expect certain outcomes?
I don’t want to be the person that expects things to be a certain way, but I do like it when I can explain things to myself. I like predictability. When, in my mind, things make sense. Because I am a writer it does not bother me when other people make up fictitious stories to explain events around them. It entertains me! But my mind is a bit more scientific and that gives me the superiority of expecting certain outcomes. I often forget that science is all about observations, not about outcomes. Maybe life in general should be more about observations. Observing the present, living in the present, enjoying the present, I was, after all, standing in a field experiencing thunder snow….. Cool!